Kat Across The Pond

New Photos

2007-08-09T03:19:00.000+01:00

Yes I'm still alive! There's new photos on my flickr account - check out the link on the right hand side of this page.

Sermon Script

2007-01-23T14:48:00.000Z

Here's the script from Sunday for those of you who are interested.

Sermon 21 Jan 2007
“Blessed are they who mourn, for they will be comforted”
“Happiness is…a shoulder to cry on”

Introduction

Today, we’ll be looking at the second beatitude “Happy are they who mourn for they will be comforted”. The ‘subtitle’ for today’s talk is ‘Happiness is…a shoulder to cry on’.

We might be tempted to think that happiness is dependent on our circumstances, ‘stuff’ we own, people’s cooperation (friends/relatives/etc) and no conflict. But that would mean that it's a transient thing. But life isn’t like that! So can we only grasp at bits of happiness every now and then, when the circumstances conspire to our advantage? Is happiness only the next holiday, the next perfect moment? If we live like that, we concentrate so much on ‘the next thing’ that we miss the daily blessings and pleasures that God sends our way.

Steve helped us to see last Sunday that "If you are poor in spirit God is near you; and when you leave here, if you want to join in with God's work, get alongside those who are poor in spirit." We saw that, actually, recognising that we are all poor in spirit, can make a big difference in how we approach life and faith.

Personal Mourning – our sin!
Today, what I hope we’ll discover together is that seeing that we are poor in spirit is the first step. The next one is acknowledging that fact, and mourning it. The Street Bible, a paraphrase, portrays this bit of the Bible as follows:

I’ll tell you who’ll still be laughing: The people who know about grief, who don’t shove the mess behind the sofa, but face it – God himself is going to put his arm round them.

The problem is exactly what the Street Bible says: often, we shove the mess behind the sofa, and don’t face it. And God can’t put his arm round us and comfort us.
We’ve been brought up to be self-sufficient, and ‘stiff upper lip’. We don’t easily let others see the mess we sometimes feel we are in. And in the process, we fool ourselves. If we tell ourselves often enough that we’re ok, we might believe it at some point. This is simply untrue. We were made by God to be dependant upon him. If we deny that, or ignore it, we end up trying to fill that hole that’s left behind with lots of other stuff. We convince ourselves that we are self-reliant, self-sufficient, self-confident and all the other selfs we can come up with, when in reality we frantically try to find some way of shoring up the sense of loneliness and insecurity inside ourselves. I don’t know about you, but I’m a fearful person. I’m frightened I’ll upset you by what I’m saying. I’m frightened you might think I’m talking twaddle. I’m frightened that, unwittingly, I’ll preach some kind of heresy. I’m extremely frightened at the prospect of having to watch this talk on video sometime over the next few weeks for my preaching assessment. If you had told me 6 years ago that I would be standing here in front of you all and preaching, I would have just laughed at you. I’m frightened of microphones. But, when I became a Christian, God put his arm around me and promised never to leave me. And although I’m still frightened at times, I can face life, because I know that He’s with me.

An important part of becoming a Christian is admitting that we do wrong on a regular basis and need Jesus’ help to live a life that is right and pleasing to him. That’s why being able to mourn is a blessing, even though it doesn’t seem like it at first glance. That’s why I’m glad that, every now and then, I get to a place, by the grace of God, where I’m faced with my shortcomings and sins and mourn. Because I know that he made me and accepts me warts and all, and he’s not going to leave me just because I mess up. Mourning or being sad about our failings and shortcomings is opening the door for God to come in, change us and make us more like Jesus.

Personal Mourning in times of trouble
We just focused on the aspect of our own mess, and sin in our lives. Of course, another important aspect of mourning is the very real situation of facing personal tragedy. There can’t be many here today who haven’t experienced loss, betrayal, illness, disappointments, discouragement, rejection, separation, or loneliness. We simply don’t go through this world without being hurt or damaged in some way. Our hearts get broken by circumstances outside our control. Our health fails us. For me, God came close when I was down. In fact, I became a Christian in a time of deep personal darkness. I had finished university, was planning my wedding, and moved house when my relationship with my fiancé broke up. I was profoundly alone and disoriented. In that time of loneliness, God drew near and I experienced Jesus in a very real way. I became a Christian and my life changed totally. I had come to a place where I could not fool myself anymore. I couldn’t find significance in being someone’s ‘significant other’. I couldn’t find purpose in the job I was doing, because already four weeks into the position, it became clear that it had been a mistake to take on that job. I couldn’t even go out and do retail therapy, as I just about had enough to live on. Sometimes, once everything that we use as support has been taken away from us, we start to recognise God in our lives. In a way, I feel a little bit ashamed of this. I had to get to rock-bottom (poor in spirit!) before I turned to God. It was like he was the last resort. But I don’t feel too bad about it, as the Bible acknowledges that this seems to be the dynamic with which God works.

“You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.” (Message Translation)

I think that way of translating the second beatitude points to our inclination to look to things other than God for comfort. It often seems easier to throw ourselves into our work, family or other things, than it is to face our problems and pains and resolve to grieve through them with God’s help.

Mourning over the state of the world
Of course, we don’t live in isolation. And no matter what we might think at times, it’s not ‘all about me’. As Christians, we are called to live in the world. To live in community with one another and with the world. So we need to be able to read this verse with a wider context in mind. God has given us this world to look after, to be stewards of until his return. We are to look after his creation and not take it for granted. Our actions, particularly since the industrial revolution, have seriously damaged the planet. If we are to change that, we have to start with a conviction that the actions of humankind in terms of environmental conservation are wrong, or at least insufficient. And, more importantly, we have to develop a personal concern for this issue. That means a deep conviction that what is going on at the moment is wrong, a mourning over the state of our world.

All this is as a consequence of people living far away from God. In our society today, characterised by a conviction that everything is explicable and down to a cause and effect relationship, talk of God sits uneasily. Combine that with the entrenched positions of religious extremists of any flavour, and the attitude that God and faith is a private matter, a ‘whatever floats your boat’ alternative to other lifestyles. We often forget that the world was made for God, not God for the world. We might want to ask ourselves ‘how can I do my bit to live a Christ like life today, and like that make him known to those who don’t yet know him?’. How does our conviction that a world with God is a better world work itself out in our day-to-day lives?

A Soft Heart
Someone once said “The saddest thing in all God’s world is not a soul that sorrows: it is a heart so dull that it is incapable of feeling grief at all; a heart so selfish that nothing but what touches its comfort and its ease could move it to a twinge of feeling. For to sorrow means to love. Mourning is indeed but another and a deeper side of loving”

Mourning and loving are just two sides of the same coin. To love means to open ourselves up for sorrow. If we never allowed others close, we would not feel the pain of disappointment, of loss or of betrayal. Jesus wept at the grave of Lazarus. A lot of people who are lot cleverer than me have written a lot of stuff about why Jesus wept, when he knew that he would raise Lazarus from the dead. I think, very simply, Jesus loved Lazarus, and Jesus loved Mary and Martha. Seeing their pain, and feeling the loss of Lazarus, meant that he wept – he mourned with his friends the loss of a friend.
Paul, in 2 Cor 1:3 says ‘Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion, and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.’

We receive comfort from God, so we can go out and comfort others. In order to receive comfort, we have to be in a place where we need it. If you’re not thirsty, you won’t drink. If you don’t mourn, you won’t accept comfort. We cannot emphasize with others and comfort them, if we don’t know what it is to mourn.

To mourn might be an unpopular thing in the eyes of the world. We brush mourning under the carpet. We are much more comfortable with the friendly, smiling face of a friend which says the world is ok, than we are with the blotchy and tearstained countenance of someone who has just faced tragedy. Like that, we don’t come face to face with our own fear, nor do we have to face the fact that we can’t fix it. Yes, we can be there, yes, we can listen. But we’re out of control, we can’t fix it. Only God can, and he might not. For some of us, that’s what we really fear. That God will let us down, when we need him most. That he won’t comfort us, that he won’t wipe away our tears.

Conclusion
We started off today by remembering last week’s challenge: “if you want to join in with God's work, get alongside those who are poor in spirit." We can only get alongside them if we know what it is to mourn, and to receive God’s comfort. We spent a while looking at mourning and what it means to mourn, as well as where God is in our mourning and how he uses it to draw us closer to himself, and to work out his purposes through us in the world. But his promise to be close to those who mourn is not the end of it. “Blessed are they who mourn, FOR THEY SHALL BE COMFORTED”. We have a promise – yes, God is with us in our mourning, but his promise is so much greater than this! His promise is that of Revelation 21:

“1Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. 2I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. 3And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. 4He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."

We can look forward to a time when God himself will be wiping the tears from our eyes! We also saw that promise in our second reading today, from Isaiah 61:

1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
2 to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion-
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendour.

These are the words with which Jesus begins his ministry in Luke Chapter 4, and this is his promise to us.

Still here...

2007-01-20T21:22:00.000Z

...and kinda alive.

I'm preaching tomorrow. An assessed 'preach', which will be video'ed. Arrrrgghh. So I spent the last two weeks or so preparing for that, and it finally came together today. What do they say? God is never too late, but never early, either. He's always on time. Not good for my nerves though!!

I'll post the sermon here when I've given it...

...can't think of a creative title

2006-11-16T20:51:00.000Z

Well the manic period is over - we had five weeks of four modules instead of two, one and a half days a week in placement, as well as loads of practical teamwork. No wonder I haven't updated this blog!

We have now moved into a new half term - this term's modules are Biblical Studies in Mark and John (Markus und Johannes fuer euch deutsche Leser!) and Philosophy...probably going to prove to be interesting. But thankfully less stressy than last half term.

My baptism visits were interesting as well - I have been doing them over the last three weeks. It's been amazing really to watch their journey. By the last meeting they were talking quite confidently about the fact that reading Acts 2 made them understand repentance and the role of the Holy Spirit a lot better! Of course they still don't really get the whole story of the 'Christian thing' I think - but then who would in 3 times one hour sessions?

Well at the moment I'm ill - the tummy bug that's making the rounds here at college has struck. So I'm lying on my sofa and am feeling sorry for myself. But this cheered me up:

Half Term!!! (Oops, reading week...)

2006-10-22T16:52:00.000+01:00

Well we're at the beginning of half term reading week (apparently it's not a holiday but a chance to catch up on all the required reading). However, for me it'll have to be a holiday. I'm so tired, that I can't think straight anymore and I need a break.

Today, Carolyn is coming up to spend some time with me, which will be lovely. Not sure what we're going to do yet, we'll decide that when she gets here. I also went to the supermarket today and bought a bottle of Winter Pimms...mmmmh!

In other news, Ellie got married yesterday - here's to the new Mrs Clack! It was a lovely wedding and she looked beautiful. Christians have the best weddings. People actually know the songs, sing along and join in with the 'interactive' parts of the service. Probably partly because they all feel comfortable in a church and are at ease with it. So anyway, it was a great occasion, and half of St John's turned out for it - which was really bizarre, but very nice for all of us b/c there were lots of people we knew and could talk to.

Et Voila

2006-10-03T22:32:00.000+01:00

My new sofa...it's very comfortable!!

A pig of a day

2006-10-02T22:00:00.000+01:00

Have you ever had a day where more or less everything seems to conspire against you? Well today was that day. I had a lecture where I thought was none, therefore giving me the issue of when to take the car to the garage to be fixed. When I got to the garage, the hire car wasn't there to be picked up. So it took 2 hours instead of twenty minutes to fix that little issue.

Then I got back to college, having missed lunch, to sit in another meeting for an hour, stomach grumbling, finally got back to my flat in order to make a phone call to the sofa dispatch people who were due to deliver my new sofa tomorrow. Sadly the delivery time was the only three hour window I couldn't make, but they didn't want to know that. Apparently, that was the scheduled time, like it or lump it (actually, or wait another two weeks for a new delivery slot). Well I had to lump it as I'm sofa-less at the moment which is seriously impeding my social activities. So my lovely neighbour, Gill, is going to take charge tomorrow evening.

On the upside, I had the hottest curry I ever had tonight - cooked by Dominic, one of our mixed mode students from Bradford. Boy it was hot. But I hardly noticed it after the third glass of wine. Strange that! :-)

New Wine North Photos on Flickr...

2006-09-24T21:43:00.000+01:00

...featuring a unique look behind the scenes and scandalous going ons in the world of sound engineering... ;-)

Boys - I might be persuaded to take any photo off the web for a small fee...

Accident

2006-09-21T10:28:00.000+01:00

For those of you who asked, the accident wasn't serious - however, the impact was so strong that it went through the bumper into the back panel, meaning it's all dented and I can't open my boot.

I'm ok though - it wasn't that bad for it to hurt me. The airbag didn't go off, either, thankfully.

The lady involved in the accident has admitted full liability and her insurance has already contacted me. I've been to a garage they stipulated yesterday to get an estimate and as soon as the insurance approves that estimate, the repair can go ahead. I even get a courtesy car. So all's well that ends well!

Preaching...

2006-09-19T09:31:00.000+01:00

Ok, so this Sunday I preached for the first time. Colossians 1:9-14 for those of you who are interested in this kind of stuff. I have to say one thing, preaching isn't as nerve wracking as leading. At least you get told when to get up and go and say your bit. If you're leading, you are the one to tell others to get up and go and say their bit.

So I preached. I think it made some kind of sense to 'those out there'. However, about halfway through, I realised that I was in the process of preaching three sermons at once - and was losing the plot fast. Also, I found myself once or twice in the middle of a sentence, without the least idea as to how I started it and what the point was meant to be. But, I got through, and Christians being the kind people they are, I got very flattering comments indeed from the congregation. I must say, the vicar did not have such scruples - which is a Very Good Thing I hasten to add. He agreed with me that the talk was a bit disjointed (re. the three sermons in one) and I was assuming too much knowledge in the congregation.

I personally also think my main problem was that I didn't really know clearly where I was going - next time I'll preach off a mind map, Alyn, you'll be pleased to hear...

All in all, I was quite happy when the service was over - but I did really enjoy it at the same time. Very strange. However, I'm starting to think that all this 'upfront' stuff is a lot more stressful than I realised. Naive? Maybe. I was totally exhausted by the time Sunday evening came round. Then I realised that I was leading staff cell on the Monday morning and cobbled something together, which, actually wasn't too bad after all.

Drove in on Monday, through the rush hour traffic, and ended up with someone driving into the back of my lovely little Corsa... :-(

It's now got a hole (literally) in the bumper - exactly the same place as in May, when someone did the same thing to my mum in that car.

Steve's request

2006-09-12T19:01:00.000+01:00

My placement supervisor requested an update on my placement on this blog...so here it is, Steve, just for you ;-)

I started at St Luke's on the 1st of September. This is my 'main' placement for my second year of training (and my only one, I believe), designed to give me insight into proper parish work.

Well what can I say? I love it. I'm loving every minute of it. I'm looking forward to the next day once the present one is over. It's totally me. Which is a relief, seeing that I'll be doing something like this for more or less the rest of my life, God willing. There is so much to it though - not to sound naive, but I don't think some of the implications of being a parish (whatever) priest - vicar - minister - pastor were quite clear before I took on this course of study. Just as well, I think, because if they had been, I wouldn't have done it, I don't think (does this qualify as a quadruple negative?). Basically, the buck stops here. Essentially. And you are the 'enthusiasm catalyst'. If your vision is lacking, the church dies. If you are unclear on your leadership, the church flounders. Pretty heavy stuff.

Enough for now - a few more thoughts in the next few days.

Happy Anniversary to me!

2006-09-01T19:46:00.000+01:00

Dear Readers,

ten years ago today I set off for the British Isles in my trusty little blue Corsa, piled high with clothes and books (and an ex boyfriend, but we won't go there...). So happy anniversary to me! :-)

(and possibly commiserations with Britain for having had to put up with me for the last ten years!)

Very Kind of Apple...

2006-09-01T19:40:00.000+01:00

I now had my Powerbook G4 for nearly two years and was just thinking the other day that I need a new battery soon, as the old one is starting to go flat at an alarming rate after nearly two years of continual use...well and today, I had an email from Apple:

"Dear Apple Customer:

Apple has determined that certain lithium-ion rechargeable batteries containing cells manufactured by Sony Corporation of Japan pose a safety risk that may result in overheating. The affected batteries were sold worldwide, in systems and separately, from October 2003 to August 2006 inclusive for use with the following computers: 12-inch iBook G4, 12-inch PowerBook G4, 15-inch PowerBook G4.

Apple is voluntarily recalling the affected batteries and has initiated a worldwide exchange programme and will provide you with a new replacement battery, free of charge. This programme is being conducted in cooperation with the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) and other international safety authorities. "

Remember the exploding Dell laptops? Yeah...well at least I'm getting a new battery free of charge! Hoorah! :-)

Cowboys and Indians

2006-08-30T15:29:00.000+01:00

Where to get a cowboy's (cowgirl's?) outfit from? My placement church is running a holiday club and my first day on placement (Friday) is the last day at Holiday club - and dressing up day. I need at least a hat!! And a neckerchief. Or however that's called.

I'm looking forward to starting. Although it hasn't been a long summer break, I'm kind of keen on getting stuck into stuff again. I'm leading on the 10th and preaching on the 17th of September! Whaaa! :-)

If you want something done...

2006-08-21T20:41:00.000+01:00

...ask a busy person.

I am starting to understand that saying. I spent these last two weeks with not much on the agenda, just random social things and writing my CTP placement report. And I feel like I've achieved naff-all. I've managed to write 1,800 words of 6,000, but somehow time is running away with me.

I'm starting to realise that I'm a person that thrives on structure. And I can't self-impose structure very well. So now I've got 10 days left to finish my report (doable) and then I start parish placement, which should at least give me some kind of structure. And then college starts again, which *definitely* will give me my structure back. I'm kind of looking forward to it.

About me

2006-08-14T17:27:00.000+01:00

*TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey*
Name:	Kat
Birthday:	November
Birthplace:	Dinslaken
Current Location:	Nottingham
Eye Color:	Blue
Hair Color:	Gold
Height:	5'8"
Right Handed orLeft Handed:	right
The Shoes You Wore Today:	Brown Suede Trainers
Your Weakness:	Chocolate
Your Fears:	Not being liked
Your Perfect Pizza:	Pepperoni - or Olive and Mushroom
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	That's for me to know and for you not to find out
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	lol
Thoughts First Waking Up:	uggghhh...
Your Best Physical Feature:	My eyes
Your Bedtime:	Midnight
Your Most Missed Memory:	??? If it was missed it wouldn't be a memory, surely??
Pepsi or Coke:	Diet Coke
MacDonalds or Burger King:	Burger King
Single or Group Dates:	Single
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	Nestea
Chocolate or Vanilla:	Chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee:	Cappu
Do you Smoke:	No
Do you Swear:	Not often
Do you Sing:	I warble
Do you Shower Daily:	Yes
Have you Been in Love:	Yes
Do you want to go to College:	Am at college...again
Do you want to get Married:	Yes
Do you believe in yourself:	Yes - but I believe in God more
Do you get Motion Sickness:	Only if I read
Do you think you are Attractive:	Kinda
Are you a Health Freak:	No
Do you get along with your Parents:	Yes
Do you like Thunderstorms:	Yes and No
Do you play an Instrument:	Badly
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	Yes
In the past month have you Smoked:	No
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	No
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	Yes
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	Yes
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	Yes!!
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	No - ew!
In the past month have you been on Stage:	Yes
In the past month have you been Dumped:	No
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	No - sadly
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	No
Ever been called a Tease:	Does Hussy count?
Ever been Beaten up:	Once when I was 12 by the neighbourhood bully
Ever Shoplifted:	A grape once in Spain from a display in front of the supermarket
How do you want to Die:	Preaching
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	Whatever God wants me to be
What country would you most like to Visit:	Dunno
*In a Boy/Girl..*
Favourite Eye Color:	Brown
Favourite Hair Color:	Dark
Short or Long Hair:	Short
Height:	Taller than me
Weight:	Not too much but not too little either...
Best Clothing Style:	Casual smart
Number of Drugs I have taken:	None - unless you count chocolate
Number of CDs I own:	1562 songs in my iTunes Library
Number of Piercings:	4 (2 in each ear)
Number of Tattoos:	none
Number of things in my Past I Regret:	Not too many
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

Here's the proof...

2006-08-14T09:59:00.000+01:00

God uses Apple Mac. :-)

What if God had a MySpace? (Video)

Welcome to the World

2006-08-10T13:36:00.000+01:00

Grace Alannah Taylor, born on the 8th of August 2006 at 5.28pm, weighing six pounds eight ounces. Congratulations to proud parents Steve and Ali. You are officially grown up now!

Back in the Land of the Living

2006-08-06T18:44:00.000+01:00

Yes, I have been deprived of t'internet for a total of 7 (seven) days. These have been the hardest days of my life.

"Good evening, my name is Katrin and I'm an internet addict"

But now I'm back! I've now spent over a month travelling around and not being home (2 weeks in Kansas City, 10 days New Wine North and seven days New Wine South) and am thoroughly fed up with it, not to mention a severe clothing shortage. So today will be an 'early to bed' day, and tomorrow will be a 'let's wash all the clothes I have' day. Hurrah, the joys of summer :-)

...

I just looked at Adele's blog and followed the link to do the 'love languages' test. So here are my results:

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Physical Touch
with a secondary love language being
Quality Time.

Complete set of results

Physical Touch:		11
Quality Time:		8
Words of Affirmation:		5
Acts of Service:		3
Receiving Gifts:		3

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

Morning Vicar

2006-07-29T22:39:00.000+01:00

Back in England

2006-07-20T09:07:00.000+01:00

I got back to England on Saturday after travelling quite a few hours. I left Kansas City on Friday at 4 pm and got to Gatwick at 9 am Saturday morning. After breakfast with George, who picked me up from the airport (thanks George!) I drove back up to Nottingham. Which might have been a mistake, as I ended up having to stop about every 45 minutes in order not to fall asleep at the wheel.

I finally got back home at 3.30 in the afternoon or thereabouts and started the long fight for staying awake until a decent bedtime hour to beat the jet lag. At ten pm I took some sleeping pills and went to bed. I woke again at 3 pm the next afternoon! Might I have overdosed??

Since being back, I have tried and failed to beat this jet lag. I still can't sleep at night, but get tired during the day. But hey, that's going to be cured soon. I'm at New Wine North now, kinda working. Not much happening yet though. Hence this blog update. More later.

How to make church brilliant...

2006-07-11T06:04:00.000+01:00

We need to be more relevant...this is cartoonchurch.com 's contribution

Overload

2006-07-09T20:50:00.000+01:00

Whew. So this morning I went into the 'Children's Equipping Centre (CEC)' (as I did on Friday night). It's aptly named. They don't do 'occupational therapy' with the kids in order to keep them amused until the parents are done with church. They really equip them. On Friday, they got the kids praying for each other for the baptism of the Holy Spirit and this morning they taught on hurts in our hearts which keep God away - in particular fear. Fear of what others might think, fear of the unknown etc. Then they taught about being an example for the younger generation (these were the 9-12 year olds they were talking to). They taught that the younger ones looked up to them and took their lead from them, and for the need to be wholehearted for God and not to be fake or disinterested. To be there wholly for God when they worship.

Then they got the older ones to pray for the younger ones and lay hands on them etc. It was brilliant to see the kids' teaching being taken serious.

Afterwards, I had lunch with Jennifer and talked about her vision for the CEC and what she wants to see God do in it and through it. Jennifer, if you're reading this - thank you for your time. I was really inspired and encouraged by your vision and your heart for God and for his people - tall and little!

Day Whatever

2006-07-06T03:27:00.000+01:00

Lost count. It's Wednesday that's all I know.

I went shopping today in American Eagle and bought loads of cool (cheap) clothes. Cheap as in not much money, not cheap as in ... cheap.

Other than that I've been busy connecting with people, hearing their stories and getting an overall feel for the place. The Pastors and Leaders conference started today, but I skipped the evening session because I decided to go to the International House of PANCAKES instead. Confusingly, I had a burger, but I had pancakes as a side. You get pancakes with everything there. I wonder - would you get pancakes as a side if you ordered pancakes as a main??

Day 3

2006-07-02T17:13:00.000+01:00

I got woken up this morning with a kiss. It was the most romantic thing that happened to me in a long time. I opened my eyes and found myself face to face with Onion. Sadly, it was only seven am, but I was most definitely awake. Some start to a Sunday!

I just had my first meeting which was very cool. What I find amazing, is that these people are so open and willing to share their hearts and lives with anyone. Judy and I chatted for about 45 minutes about her calling and the way she sees IHOP impact the Christian (and non-Christian) world.

Yesterday, I went to their one day 'Harp and Bowl' seminar, which talked about the values that IHOP is built on and the way they do their 24 hour model of praise and worship. What amazed me is that it's very doable - it's sustainable and practical, nearly pragmatic, with loads of space for God to work. I think they were talking about the interplay between liturgy (structure) and spontaneity (prophecy/the Spirit). Fascinating, especially coming from a 'liturgical' church situation.

Kansas City Day 1

2006-06-30T16:52:00.000+01:00

After flying for what seemed like forever yesterday, an uneventful change in Minneapolis, and being picked up by Andy and Delia in Kansas City International, I am now in Kansas City for the next two weeks.

My body clock is on five pm but apparently it's ten to eleven in the morning. We went to a chinese buffet thingy last night and I ate ginger prawns, beef and mushrooms, spring rolls, deep fried chicken and some lovely unidentified meat at about ten in the evening here - about 4 in the morning for my body clock. Then I went back to the house, got acquainted with the cats (Onion and Tulip...go figure), who every now and then jump on the bed in the night (they did only once last night, and I chucked him off...) and fell asleep. I woke up roughly every couple of hours but that was ok.

The house I'm staying in seems to acccommodate about 15 people, although I know that in reality only 5 live here. They all seem to be really nice, all doing different things but all went to IHOP at one point or other before now. At the moment it's very confusing, but I'm sure all will become clear.

Breakfast was a smoothie and a coffee and lunch will probably be at the cafe.

Monday to Wednesday is their monthly fast, but I'm relieve to find out that it's on the basis of "don't ask, don't tell". Wha-hey :-)

Long time...

2006-06-18T11:18:00.000+01:00

...no type.

I am in the process of writing my second essay, which is due in tomorrow. I don't think I've ever cut it this thin, or been this busy. And whilst things are going on all round me and inside me, I seem to be finally getting my priorities right - and essays are not on top of that priority list, I've discovered!

Priorities are:

Time with God
friends and family
enjoying the day to day little gifts - a sunrise, a smile etc
and maybe essays...down the list of priorities
together with preparatory reading
and class attendance.

Don't get me wrong, I still do all these things (prep reading, class attendance etc) but really - there are more important things in life. And if the more important things in life take over, then so be it. After all, the most important things I learnt this first year in ordination training I haven't heard in the classroom, but in conversation with people, whilst sharing lifes, laughs and tears. I've grown a lot this past year, not in the least in learning that grades and 'making the grade' is really not as important as some might make it out!

DVLA Official Warning

2006-06-05T18:14:00.000+01:00

In Germany

2006-05-28T12:40:00.000+01:00

So now I'm in Germany, after having driven 500 kilometres and spent 4 hours on the ferry yesterday. I'm not a good seafarer, but the sea was very calm, I hardly realised we were travelling it was that calm. I didn't have to take the advice of one friend to stand down wind so the sick doesn't fly back into my face and mess up my hairdo. So there!

Driving in the Netherlands requires a whole different set of skills, namely to ignore all other drivers on the road and keep going towards your goal, ignoring all distractions in the shape of other cars, bicycles or pedestrians, avoiding them as far as in you lies. I managed without major incidents and soon crossed the border into Germany.

So I made it, arrived home at 6 pm, having travelled for 11 hours.

Oh by the way - if anyone is considering using the RAC website for directions and indications of how long a journey might take - don't! According to the RAC, the trip from Nottingham to Harwich should have taken 4 1/2 hours, meaning I would have left Nottingham at 4.30 am. Thankfully, I double checked on www.viamichelin.com and found out it would be more like 3 hours, so I left at a quarter to six. I still got there miles too early (having driven most of the route German-style). It took me 2 hours 45 minutes.

Church Weekends and Visiting Friends

2006-05-14T11:22:00.000+01:00

That rhymes!

Last weekend, I went to Eastbourne with my sending church (St Andrews)

We stayed in a very nice hotel, with full board, where I got lessons in 'how to eat proper-like' (did you know that you are meant to break off little bits of your breadroll, and butter them individually??) from Sarah-Jo (are you spelled with a hyphen?) just in case I'll ever dine with a bishop.

We ate too much and indulged in a lot of liquid worship. In between, we even got some Bible teaching in, delivered by Phil Moon (nothing to do with the Moonies, he assured us) on how to be family, based on Ephesians 3 I think.

Then, on my way back from Crawley, I went the wrong way around the M25 (anti-clockwise) to pick up my very good friend Sandy from near Tonbridge, to take her back up with me to Nottingham for a couple of days. Thanks Phil for lending her to me! We had a lovely time just yakking and putting the world to rights (Sands we never prayed together in the end!), and she experienced college life too - the food, the Morning Prayer etc. AND she liked it! This is Sandy lying on the floor in my flat, looking at a picture on the wall:

And just because I like it so much, this is Luke, who lives in the flat above me, getting into the swing of the stressful, strenuous life that is being a vicar:

Couldn't resist this...

2006-05-13T23:19:00.000+01:00

Thanks to Lee for the link.

Have a look here for one of the latest Apple Ads. Ouch! :-)

Live Eagle-Cam

2006-04-30T19:11:00.000+01:00

Here you can watch two eagles hatching two eaglets (is that a word?) live!!! It's very cool. Takes a little while to load, but then it's a live webcam.

Take a peek:

Eagle Cam

Alive again!

2006-04-30T16:40:00.000+01:00

Well I sat the exam. I wrote something to each question, so I think I passed. Now I can live again.

Life has been pretty crazy this past week. Amongst all the exam revision, I managed to have to lead Morning Prayer on Tuesday. I didn't realise until then how much I don't like doing things upfront. Ugh. So on Monday night I got my knickers all in a twist and decided that this wasn't the job for me at all.

Then a good friend (you know who you are!) prayed for me and, amongst a lovely, long, meaningful prayer, said the words 'Lord we trust you', and I didn't hear anything else. I heard that and thought 'yes, actually. I've done my bit. I prayed and prepared. If it all goes belly up now, it's not my fault but His'.

Totally calmed me down, and I managed to get a good night's sleep. I was still a bit nervous the next morning, but not stomach churningly so. We had a good morning prayer and God turned up (and I think He enjoyed it too...) so it's all good!

Revision, Revision, Revision

2006-04-25T16:29:00.000+01:00

Update coming once I survived the exam on Friday. Promise.

Exam is on (for those of you sad enough to want to know):

Phillipians 2:5-11
Arianism
Council of Chalcedon and Nicean Creed
Liturgy

Post Charismatic

2006-04-19T18:49:00.000+01:00

The excerpt below is from an article on 'being post charismatic'. You can read the whole article here.

I'd love your comments/concerns/thoughts on the below.

I have also had many conversations with youth and young adults who have been raised in charismatic churches, who are questioning the same things. In many ways, they've seen and done it all, but now, like their conservative evangelical friends, they are growing disillusioned with some of the teachings, and the practices based on those teachings.

It would probably be more accurate to not call these people post-charismatic, but rather post-HYPE. They are tired of hearing great stories about the good old days, jaded from hearing too many prophecies about the great move of God that seems to always be just around the corner, fed up with exaggerated or even fabricated stories of healings and miracles, and disillusioned with a view of spiritual formation that is lived through a weekly crisis moment at the front of the church.

In years past, most of them would not have voiced these questions out loud, out of concern of being labeled rebellious or lacking faith. Even recently, most of the concerns that have been voiced to me have been done in a context of two or three friends sharing a table at a coffeeshop or pub; they wouldn't be comfortable voicing their concerns in the church at large.

Broadly speaking, there are four major areas that come up repeatedly as reasons for post-charismatics pulling away from their Pentecostal, Charismatic, or Third Wave roots. The four areas are:

Abuses and elitism in prophetic ministry, coupled with a "carrot and stick" approach to holiness that many find legalistic, manipulative, and repressive

The excesses of Word Faith teachings (health and wealth, prosperity doctrine) which clash with the emerging generations' concern for a biblical approach to justice and ministry with the poor

Authoritarianism and hierarchical leadership structures that exist more to control people than to equip the saints for works of service

An approach to spiritual formation (discipleship) that depends on crisis events -- whether at "the altar" in a church service, or in a large conference setting -- but either neglects or deliberately belittles other means of spiritual growth

Why??

2006-04-18T22:44:00.000+01:00

Really - I mean, WHY??

Happy Easter!

2006-04-16T14:10:00.000+01:00

Alleluia! Christ is risen!

A very happy Easter to you all - don't overindulge on the chocolate! :-)

Excitement

2006-04-12T22:47:00.000+01:00

Oh I'm excited!! I just booked my flight to Kansas City - flying with NorthWest Airlines, outbound on the 29th June, inbound on the 14th July. I'll be staying at the International House of Prayer with friends of a friend of mine who have very kindly and graciously offered me a place to stay with them.

I will be talking to some of their leadership and probably also some of their 'regulars' about the connection between Intercessory Prayer and Action (social action/outreach). This is my Contextual Theology Placement, which is part of my first year at St John's.

Really for me this is a bit of a jolly, but nonetheless, I am passionate about motivation for action coming out of 'dwelling in the Heart of God' and noone does it as well as the guys (and gals) at IHOP-KC. And it'll be fascinating to hear their insights and learn from them. From what I've seen so far, churches are either good at intercession/intimacy with God, but then they are inward looking; or they are very good at social action, but neglect intimacy with God. IHOP-KC seem to have found the right interplay between the two. I can't wait!! (well I know I'll have to...)

World Cup 2006 - Essential Facts

2006-04-11T19:49:00.000+01:00

For those of you considering visiting Germany, here is a link to prepare you adequately for what you might encounter there:

Top Survival Tips for Visitors to Germany

FXC

2006-04-10T13:53:00.000+01:00

Fresh Xpressions of Church (to avoid saying 'FEC').

We are back from our 'FXC' placement at Contemplative Fire. How to summarise that? CF is a network church, with no permanent home. They meet in people's houses for 'Around the Hearth' groups (homegroups), in other churches etc for their 'Gatherings' (Sunday services, twice a month). Bi-monthly, they go out for a 'contemplative walk' in a lovely area of Oxfordshire. CF spans a wide geographical area. Hence it's difficult to make sure people stay connected. Most CF'ers go to other churches as well as CF, however there is a distinct 'fringe group' that is disenchanted/hurt by 'normal' church and uses CF as a place where they can connect spiritually, if not necessarily overtly Christian.

Which brings me to the biggest area of interest. Because CF wants to connect with (unchurched) people's inner need for sprituality, there is little overt reference to Christianity in the events other than the evening service on Sundays. In order to connect, the leadership is at pains to keep the language accessible ('however you understand the divine' etc) and not scare people off. Which is great, however I'm not sure how much of Christianity is left in all that. It's all about the 'divine within you' or 'The Christ within you'. Bit woolly for this die-hard evangelical :-)

The Three Counties Tour...

2006-04-05T21:29:00.000+01:00

Ok so a quick update is in order I think to get you up and running with the Three Counties Tour that took place (in my universe anyway) over the weekend:

Saturday saw me driving down to somewhere near Tonbridge to visit Sandy and Phil. I know how to get there but I don't actually know where exactly they live. It's about 15 mins outside of Tonbridge. Sandy and I went to Burrswood to drink tea and wander around. In the evening, we went to the Spotted Dog Pub, where we consumed massive amounts of wine, ate mini-salami-like sausages and put the world to rights. A VERY nice time was had by all I think.

Sunday I drove from Tonbridge to Crawley, in order to attend the morning service at my sending church . This was followed by a very nice roast lunch at 'the vicar's house' - thanks Lynne for doing a great roast beef. No cucumber sandwiches or sherry in sight I'm pleased to report!

From there I went on to Alton in Hampshire, to admire the new house of my very good friends (and oldest friends in England! I met them on holiday in July 1996, and moved to England in September 1996). They now live in an old Oast House, which has been amazingly renovated and decorated (the latter being Janice's skill). Beautiful proportions to the house and a lovely area. Monday Janice and I went exploring in Alton and had lunch at a lovely italian cafe. Then I went back to Nottingham.

Tomorrow I'm going to my Fresh Expressions of Church placement in Chesham in Herts (www.contemplativefire.org). I let you know what I think once I know myself.

What City do you belong in?

2006-04-04T23:07:00.000+01:00

You Belong in Rome

You're a big city girl with a small town heart
Which is why you're attracted to the romance of Rome
Strolling down picture perfect streets, cappuccino in hand
And gorgeous Italian men - could life get any better?

What City Do You Belong In?

Well I stole this off Adele's blog who stole it off Gillian's blog. Thanks girls!

Welcome to April

2006-04-04T14:49:00.000+01:00

How crazy is this! Earlier, I had to open all the windows in the flat because it was so warm and the sun was so hot I needed some air.

I've just looked out of the window, and it's snowing!!

Ever feel like this?

2006-03-29T21:55:00.000+01:00

Swot!

2006-03-29T21:35:00.000+01:00

I'm famous!

2006-03-29T14:43:00.000+01:00

Look here!

Update 31 Mar 06: looks like they've moved the pic. Wonder what that means?? :-(

The Happiness Index

2006-03-28T10:45:00.000+01:00

Look what I found on the BBC news website:

One of the secrets to a happiness appears to be the opportunity to socialise while at work. Florists, beauticians and hairdressers all identify meeting new people and feeling appreciated as key to enjoying their working day.

Welcoming the local congregation obviously has the same effect on many members of the clergy, the highest placed professionals, who came second on this year's City and Guilds Happiness Index.

When asked to rate their happiness on a scale of one to ten, the clergy averaged 9.14, just behind beauticians on 9.20.

Let's hear it for clergy! It's so nice to hear something positive about being clergy...I know I am not clergy (yet...) but I'm deliriously happy. It's a huge priviledge to be doing what I'm doing. It's amazing to think that this is all God's doing and none of mine. I'll stop gushing now.

Read the whole article here

PS: I've just added a couple more photos to Flickr...link in the sidebar on the right...

Today, I filed...

2006-03-27T22:21:00.000+01:00

My view out of the window was in danger of being obliterated by stacks of handouts and paper in general, so today I filed. And filed. And filed. Last half term's papers joined the first term's papers in the red lever arch file. Also, and this will not surprise anyone who ever studied Christology at St John's with a certain lecturer, "The Person of Christ" handouts got their own lever arch file. A forest had to die for this half term's handouts.

Oh I also tidied generally, and matchmaked (is that a word?) loads and loads of lonely socks. I aired the whole flat, changed the bed, and went swimming this morning. Ah yes swimming. I discovered that I am disgustingly unfit. I did 14 lengths in 20 minutes and thought I might die. I exited the swimming pool to discover that my legs didn't seem my own anymore. So I decided to go again on Wednesday. Keep up the momentum. Go on encourage me!!

Two posts in a day!!

2006-03-25T17:03:00.000Z

You can tell it's the holidays and the next essay isn't due for another four weeks!

Check this out:

McPassion - the Movie

Huh??

2006-03-25T12:30:00.000Z

"The Prophet Muhammad has said several times that those who convert from Islam should be killed if they refuse to come back," says Ansarullah Mawlafizada, the trial judge. "Islam is a religion of peace, tolerance, kindness and integrity. That is why we have told him if he regrets what he did, then we will forgive him," he told the BBC News website.

Read the whole article here.

Sometimes I wonder about this world...

Another week has gone

2006-03-11T10:14:00.000Z

It's amazing how quickly this happens. Blink and the week is gone.

Monday we had our quiet day - we went away as a fellowship group (cell group) and spent the day in beautiful Woodborough. We started off with Morning Prayer (how very Anglican) in a lovley little old church which was surrounded by snowdrops. As part of Morning Prayer we had a meditation with a few questions that we should ask ourselves. Maybe you can ask yourself the same questions:

What are you investing in?
What have you set your sights on?
Who (or what) are you serving?
What keeps you awake at night?

Hard questions, but it was good to ask them.

Then we had 3 hours of silence. Believe it or not, I managed to keep that silence, even with 8 other people in the immediate vicinity, all of whom I love dearly.

Then Monday evening we had 'Worship Sp ace', a time where we can just worship, with space for ourselves (as the name suggests - duh!). That was great too. Very alternative, with DJ worship and visuals to start with and then live worship from the fabulous Jo and band. People got touched by God and encouraged and ministered to.

The rest of the week was taken up with learning. The Arian heresies (that's a guy who lived aroundabout 300 AD, nothing to do with Nazi Germany...) as well as the three other heresies...uhm...Apollinaris (which is a bottled water in Germany), Eutyches (sounds like a cough sweet to me) and Nestorius the pantomime horse. Thrilling. Not.

The problem I have with all this is that I can't help but think that I don't know anyone, or even heard of anyone, who has been argued into the Kingdom. It's usually God doing his supernatural stuff, and we hang around to help out every now and then. And as my mate James pointed out 'if they get argued into the Kingdom, then someone can argue them out of the Kingdom just as easily'. So sack Arian heresies, let's go out there and tell people about Jesus!!!

Hurrah it's Friday

2006-03-03T10:09:00.000Z

Fridays are good days in my world at the moment. On Fridays, I have no lectures. Which is good, coming after Thursdays, which starts at 8 and finishes at 7 with hardly any breaks in between. And it's even worse when I'm on music rota to sing, as the practice is in the only gap there is in the day - 4-5.15. This was the case yesterday, so I had basically a whole day without any breaks whatsoever. Meaning I really need the 'easy' Friday.

So this Friday I decided to skip morning prayer at 8 and have a lie in. Sadly, when I went to bed last night, I was chatting to God and said "and anyway, if you want me to go, you'll make sure I wake up in time" RIGHT. Biiiiig mistake. For the first time in weeks I was wide awake at ten past seven. So much for a lie-in. I'll have one tomorrow (no morning prayer on Saturdays...).

Hospital placement is still going on. We are now on rota to lead the service and run a seminar afterwards. Our group's turn is next week Sunday. Efficient as we are, we already know what the sermon is going to be about (Zaccheus or however you spell him...) and the seminar is going to be on Healing (the supernatural kind, not the medical kind). How to pray for healing, when to pray for healing, healing and suffering, healing and death. Should be challenging.

Hmmm....

2006-02-22T21:40:00.000Z

Wow how time flies. This is already a few weeks after my last post. Since then, I've been back to Crawley *again*, this last weekend. I'm on Half Term (reading week) as we speak, and I am actually doing work now! I've started reading for one of the essays I need to write (Pastoral Care) and am starting to worry about the other one (Ethics).

Other than that, life's been hiccuping along reasonably. I feel a bit tired and jaded at the moment. It was lovely to go back to St A's at the weekend, but I have to face the fact that I don't belong there anymore. It wasn't anything anyone said or did, they were all lovely. It was a simple fact of life. I've been away for 6 months now and it shows. People move on, but it's kindof painful. Facts of life?

Part of the reason I feel jaded is because I just put down a good book. I read "The Time Traveler's Wife", and whenever I come to the end of a good book for the first time, I feel bereft. I go through a mini grieving process for the characters etc. That never happens to me when I re-read books, only the first time I read them. So anyways, I finished it within two days - be warned if you plan on reading it, it's addictive! That's another part of the reason why I don't like reading books for the first time - everything else vanishes out of life until I finished that book. It's a bit like a drug. Hmmmm....that's a bit worrying really...only happens with novels....any thoughts?

Debrief

2006-02-01T23:11:00.000Z

Well it wasn't that bad after all. I sat next to a lady in the morning service at the hospital who turned out to be on 'my' ward, so at least I had someone to talk to who didn't think I was totally bonkers for wandering onto a ward and chat to strangers. We chatted for a little while, the only interruption being her neighbour who interjected about halfway through "I don't like mash, me. I much prefer roast potatoes!". We had been talking about the bendy television sets that were connected to each bed...never mind.

Tomorrow I'm going to Glory for about three days (oh ok, or the 'Grace and Glory' conference in Tonbridge) and from there on to my sending church in Crawley (in case you don't know this yet guys - I'll be there on Sunday!!). Then back here late Sunday to dive back into Spirituality on Monday. Yes, we have a scheduled Spirituality slot every week. The last one was about finding God in the Eucharist.

This is dedicated to all you Calvinists out there:

"For this very familiar comparison penetrates into even the dullest minds: just as bread and wine sustain physical life, so are souls fed by Christ. We now understand the purpose of this mystical blessing, namely, to confirm for us the fact that the Lord's body was once for all so sacrificed for us that we may now feed upon it, and by feeding, feel in our selves the working of that unique sacrifice.
John Calvin, Institutes, Vol. 2, Chap. 17

Listening Skills

2006-01-28T17:19:00.000Z

This is how it goes:

Person A: "Rhubarb rhubarb rhubarb rhubarb"
Person B: "So what I hear you saying is that this made you angry"
Person A: "Rhubarb rhubarb rhubarb rhubarb"
Person B: "Really? And how does that make you feel?"
Person A: "Rhubarb rhubarb rhubarb rhubarb"
Person B: "Ok, so what do you think God is trying to tell you through this?"
Person A: "Rhubarb rhubarb rhubarb rhubarb"
Person B: "Nooo...I don't think God is telling you to leave your wife and four kids and enter an enclosed monastery"

The above is a fine example of reflective listening, empathic listening and spiritual direction. As you can see, we have been busy at college this week.

But lectures isn't really where real life happens nowadays. I have a ministry to the poor in Bramcote, by supplying them with second hand CD players. Unfortunately, my car window is worth a lot more than said CD player, so I wasn't too impressed, however I bless these people in Jeeeeee-sus' name. May they have joy with the CD player, and may they be converted by the fine Christian Rock CD that was in said CD player.

In other news, I went swimming yesterday, in order to combat my general laziness in the sports area. I am quite impressed with myself I must say, but let's see how long this latest craze lasts.

I also went shopping today - we are starting our hospital chaplaincy placement tomorrow and the dress code is smart casual. What better excuse to go shopping!! I managed to restrain myself and only spent £40 which I think is quite good. Hospital chaplaincy will be interesting. I'm on the "Breasts and Plastics" ward, which is sadly not plastic surgery for the vain but plastic surgery for disfigurements such as burns etc. Please Lord give me strength!

Weekends

2006-01-23T10:44:00.000Z

This weekend, I planned to have a long lie-in on Saturday, get up early on Sunday to prepare for my guests and the Sunday lunch (which involves furniture moving in my little flat). Instead, I woke up at 8 am on Saturday and couldn't get back to sleep for toffee, so I got up. I lounged around in my sloppy clothes and unwashed state til lunchtime, when I got startled by the door bell. It was Sue, wondering if we could pop to the pub for an hour as her hubby had taken the kids shopping and she was allowed out to play. Typical. The one day I am definitely not ready for polite company and what happens? Well, I set up a new world record: I was washed and decent in 7 minutes!!

So we went to the pub, had a nice chat etc, and then got back home. I then decided to do ALL my filing, and even did an hour's worth of Greek (yes - I know, I am fabulous!!). I also managed to read a trashy novel (Last Chance Saloon) and cook the dinner for my Sunday guests.

On Sunday, in contrast to Saturday, I overslept. I didn't wake up til 11 am, and panicked, as the aforementioned furniture moving still had to take place. So I showered etc, and got down to business. The sofa went along the wall, the extendable table came out and all was set up. Then Jenny, Dan, Steve and Ali came for lunch and much fun was had by all. Keith also popped in for a cup of tea, and I found out I can seat 6 at the amazing extendable table.

I then played (and lost) two games of pool, watched some telly and went back to the flat to retire for the night. Another weekend over!

Back to Skool

2006-01-15T11:28:00.000Z

Well here we are again. It's the new year and the new term. Nothing much has changed, apart from the subjects. Pastoral care and Ethics are the flavours of the half-term. Very interesting (Ethics) and very challenging (Pastoral Care).

Pastoral Care seems to have the effect of bringing up unwanted issues with me. And I thought I was all sorted!! Only kidding.

It's quite fun actually. Listening skills. Appropriate boundaries. Counselling models. I'll be an expert in no time (or think I am which is just as dangerous).

2005 Review

2006-01-05T19:15:00.000Z

I've just been on Adele's blog and got inspired by her '2005' review. So I'm going to attempt to do the same thing (minus the witty and inspiring way Adele has of writing...)

Here we go...

January
Started blogging - a definite highlight!
Experienced my first (enforced) sung eucharist...and started appreciating that the Church of England encompasses everything from the wacky HTB to the more staid country church
Went to Warwick Castle for our company Christmas do - Kingmakers feast. Down with the Yorkists!
Some God revelation about motives and my heart - hard but good!

February
Got nearly blown up at church when connecting new cables to foldbacks
Got told by the Chichester DDO that selection conference and therefore college this year was a definite no-go
so all in all February sucked...

March
Busy with lots of insignificant things - realised that I needed to make time for God
Other than that, pretty eventless

April!
Spring Harvest
Met 'the Bish' (who shall remain nameless! ;) ) at Spring Harvest who decided to put me forward through his diocese

May
Met 'the Bish's' DDO
Went to Interview Day at St John's Nottingham - they offered place
Got date for selection conference

June
Some more God-kicking-Kat-up-her-backside
BBQ's galore - Steve and Judith do the best BBQs this side of heaven...
Home to Germany for my mum's birthday

July
More BBQs
Prep for Selection conference on 1st August
New Wine. Did I mention I hate camping??

August
Selection Conference!!
Got Accepted!!!
Started packing

September
THE highlight must have been moving to Nottingham - into my own flat, to be my home for the next three years.
Started college
Getting wireless in my flat (geek factor 10)
Learning how to paint (thank you Carolyn!!)

October
Settling into College - not really a highlight just a reality
Peanut the Pear got created and also laid to rest
Shared 30th Bday party in Crawley

November
My 30th Birthday - yay! Great party in College - thanks Ellie and Helen!!
My mum and dad visited

December
Great times with God
Great times with friends
Great times with family

Overall, I laughed and I cried this year, I questioned God and he proved faithful over and over again. I made fantastic friends (you know who you are!!) since starting college and I learnt heaps about myself and God. Roll on 2006!!!

A hug for y'all

2006-01-05T13:22:00.000Z

Why am I still single?

2006-01-03T11:14:00.000Z

Someone asked me this question a few days ago, and I was challenged to come up with an answer that goes beyond "because the right guy hasn't turned up yet". Here's what I came up with:

What God wants to do with my life has always been important to me. I would not want to compromise that for my own personal happiness (although of course it doesn't preclude being happy!) I guess if God's plan for me is a husband, I can trust him to find me one (whilst still pro-actively looking!). After all, it's His job - He's my Father.
Also I don't want to marry for the sake of it. Although I'd absolutely love love love to have a family, not at any cost! I've seen people around me marry because that's what you do. Well no thanks. If/when I marry, it'll be because I found the man God wants me to marry.

Happy New Year!

2006-01-01T00:21:00.000Z

May 2006 be your best ever yet!!

(((hugs)))

La de da

2005-12-27T17:20:00.000Z

Not much to report.

Christmas was good but eventless. Too much food and too little Jesus. For my taste anyway. We had a nice time on Christmas Eve (the traditional German main celebration), exchanged a few gifts and ate some food and drank some wine. Very sedate and grown-up. I met with my bestest friend Nina yesterday and caught up with her and her kids and hubby, which was nice.

Tomorrow will be devoted to shopping. All the stuff I can't get in England, but want. Let's see:

Hard, dry-cured salami
Liquorice (or however you spell that)
A 'lead cast' set - this is a New Year's tradition in Germany, highly unsuitable for budding vicars: you melt lead in a teaspoon, pour it into cold water, and according to the shape it takes in the cold water, you can get predictions for the New Year. A bit of fun, but not taken seriously!!
My special brand mascara (well you can get it in England but it's cheaper here)
Underwear (Kaufhof beats M&S hands down!)
Chocolate!!

Back to England on Thursday - two essays await me! Hoo-rah...

Home sweet home

2005-12-22T20:56:00.000Z

So here I am, back in Germany for the Christmas holidays. It's like stepping back in time. I get my old room (well, flat), see my old friends, and do all the stuff I used to do. Shopping, eating, arguing with my parents. It's like being a teenager again.

Seriously, though. It's great being home. I can sleep as long as I like, get great food and can catch up with all my old mates, neighbours and relatives (not that many of them around...). Add to all that the festive cheer, and you have a nice holiday. It's amazing how much into the *real* Christmas people here in Germany still are. Somehow a lot more than in England. They are a lot more open and interested about the fact that Christmas is essentially about Jesus, which is reflected in the newspaper articles and the stuff they show on telly. But church is so much still a part of the fabric of life here (meaning part of the pattern of days, rather than real conviction and Christianity) that it's probably not surprising. However, despite all that the churches are dead. A sprinkling of pensioners and the obligatory gaggle of teenagers (for their confirmation classes - don't ask!) is all you'll ever find in church on a usual Sunday.

Maths problem

2005-12-19T09:47:00.000Z

May I just point out that I am not blonde - apparently my hair is strawberry coloured... :-D

Fun Update

2005-12-17T21:18:00.000Z

Well let's see how I've done in the fun department: I spent most of the day reading a trashy novel (not done that in ages - reading seems to be a goal-oriented activity these days), eating way too much chocolate, having two Birds Eye 100% beef burger patties for dinner, getting all the reading required for the Missions essay (Hudson Taylor) out of the library. I know I know but I couldn't resist it - at least I know now I have all the stuff here and I can write the essay if the spirit so moves me.

On my way to the library I encountered the fabulous Liz, who was up to her arms in Christmas decorations (and decorated quite liberally herself, with lots of glitter all over her), looking thoroughly fed up. So I made her stop and have a cup of tea with me in the common room.

I then read some more trashy novel, et some more chocolate, talked to a few lovely people on the phone and now am starting to consider going to bed - it's only 9.30 in the evening but that's the luxury of college holidays - there's nothing to do with hardly anyone around, and I can catch up on sleep.

Oh I also managed to spend some time with God - very important for budding vicars (some might not agree but hey). He's got a lot to say at the moment which is not a little disturbing for me so I'd value your prayers. Oh btw, just in case Mad Dog is reading this: yes, it's disturbing, but I know it's also good. It's frightening, but it's also blessing. It's unsettling but it's also reassuring and peace - bringing. Go figure.

Xmas Parties and End of Term

2005-12-17T10:53:00.000Z

Thursday night was Christmas party time here at college - everyone dressed up in glad rags and the social team excelled themselves and decorated the entrance and everything in a Narnia theme - complete with street lamp, white curtains, snowflakes all over the place and so on. It was magical.

The dinner that night was Christmas dinner, cooked fantastically - all the trimmings included. Then we moved to the chapel which was decked out as a party hall, and had some live music to begin with and then a DJ. Here you were treated to a bunch of wannabe vicars standing in a circle and doing the actions to 'YMCA'. Glad the press wasn't there! :-)

So today is the first day of the Christmas break. To treat myself, I slept til ten past ten, aided by a couple of mugs of Winter Pimms with Apple juice (hot). Loooovely. I have decided to have fun today (not sure how to do that yet, though!) and not worry about essays or anything (oops, I said it). So I shall have a leisurely breakfast, some quality time with God, go for a walk or something and play with my new digital camera. The weather outside is glorious - lovely sunshine, and not a cloud anywhere to be seen.

Guess where...

2005-12-10T13:34:00.000Z

...I went yesterday. And to give you a clue:

Yes - this was courtesy of the fabulous Mike. He took a friend of mine and myself to Bradford, fed us Pizza, and then we went to see Delirious - first concert of the "Paint the Town" tour. The album (Mission Bell) is fantastic - I can recommend it.

So let's hear it for Mike - I had a fantastic time all thanks to him!

It was also hilarious. We got there with enough time spare to walk into Bradford for some food. In the process of finding somewhere to eat, Mike chatted up two police women and two party goers (girls of course). As he was busy flirting, he didn't listen to the directions. I thought he had, so I wasn't listening either. However, we found the Italian place anyway. We had Pizza and left in order to get back to Abundant Life Church in time for the concert. We just made it - the supporting act was already going. Delirious did a great job, the place was heaving (2,500 people, I believe) and God was there too. I think He had a great time, as well.

Chav Nativity

2005-12-10T10:50:00.000Z

I know the last post was a joke as well, but this is too good not to publish. I got it in an email forward. All you Brits are going to understand it - not sure about my American/Canadian friends.

A 'proper' update is going to follow soon (ish)

Chav Nativity

There's this bird called Mary, yeah? She's a virgin (wossat then?) She's not married or nuffink, but she's got this boyfriend, Joe, innit? He does joinery an' that. Mary lives with him in a crib dahn Nazaref. One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel. She's like `Oo ya lookin at?' Gabriel just goes 'You got one up the duff, you have.' Mary's totally gobsmacked. She gives it to him large 'Stop dissin' me yeah? I ain't no Kappa-slapper. I never bin wiv no one!' So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who's six months gone herself. Liz is largin' it. She's filled with spirits, Barcardi Breezers an' that. She's like 'Orright, Mary, I can feel me bay-bee in me tummy and I reckon I'm well blessed. Think of all the extra benefits an' that we are gonna get.' Mary goes 'Yeah, s'pose you're right' Mary an' Joe ain't got no money so they have to ponse a donkey, an' go dahn Bethlehem on that. They get to this pub an' Mary wants to stop, yeah? To have her bay-bee an' that. But there ain't no room at the inn, innit? So Mary an' Joe break an' enter into this garridge, only it's filled wiv animals. Cahs an' sheep an' that. Then these three geezers turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns on their heads. They're like `Respect, bay-bee Jesus', an' say they're wise men from the East End. Joe goes: 'If you're so wise, wotchoo doin' wiv this Frankenstein an' myrrh? Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas and Burberry?' It's all about to kick off when Gabriel turns up again an' sez he's got another message from this Lord geezer. He's like 'The police is comin an' they're killin all the bay-bees. You better nash off to Egypt.' Joe goes 'You must be monged if you think I'm goin' dahn Egypt on a minging donkey' Gabriel sez 'Suit yerself, pal. But it's your look out if you stay.' So they go dahn Egypt till they've stopped killin the first-born an' it's safe an' that. Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go back to Nazaref, an' Jesus turns water into Stella. APPY CRIMBO

15 Things

2005-12-04T11:26:00.000Z

15 Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner
is taking their sweet time:

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts
when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3 Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4 Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
'Code 3' in housewares..... and see what happens.

5 Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6 Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7 Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers
you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding
department.

8 When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why
can't you people just leave me alone?'

9 Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10 While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk
if he knows where the anti- depressants are.

11 Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the
"Mission Impossible" theme.

12 In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"
using different size funnels.

13 Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!"   "PICK ME!"

14 When an announcement comes over the loud speaker,
assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

( And; last, but not least!)

15 Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while;
and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

Preview

2005-12-02T20:35:00.000Z

This is a pic of our two *handsome* sisters: Chalcedon and Nicea (aka Marc and Marc), minus their lovely blue and red hairdos... More pics to follow, for maximum embarrassment for the cast.

Pantomime

2005-12-01T16:38:00.000Z

I know you are all waiting with baited breath for the pantomime report. I am waiting for the pantomime photos so that I can post a few choice ones on here and embarrass people unbelievably (especiallly Steve in his purple crushed velvet dress...). I try to do this before the weekend but as you can appreciate, it depends on others getting the pics onto my memory stick...

Thanks for your patience
x

:-)

2005-11-23T22:32:00.000Z

Party Animals

2005-11-20T20:12:00.000Z

So I really really milked this birthday. After all, it's the big 3-o!!! I had a party in Crawley a couple of weeks back, with two other thirties, and with all the lovely people from church there and a few extra friends here and there.

Then on Thursday, the two lovely girlies Ellie and Helen (I love you gals!!) organised a paahteeh for me in the common room at college. Here's what happened there:

As you can see, we ban alcohol at the college. After all, we are all being trained to be good, upright citizens of the kingdom of heaven. Here, you can see me with a glass of Ribena.

Here you can see the three of us just about to start our weekly prayer and fasting time, which we do three days out of seven. We are held accountable for this by our respective fellowship group tutors.

Of course, we don't believe in the pleasures of the flesh, so this cake is only representative. It's made of cardboard (good imitation isn't it?). The money we saved will go to a worthwhile charity.

No comment.

Then on Friday, my parents arrived. We went out for a lovely meal on Friday night, and then I joined them for breakfast at the hotel on Saturday morning. Oh and on Saturday night we went out for another lovely meal, and I also joined them for a full cooked English breakfast this morning. I only had some soup for dinner tonight, because I just couldn't face any more food.

So now, back to the grindstone. Less of this cavorting and partying. Life, after all, is a serious affair. There'll be enough laughter in heaven.

Quiet Day

2005-11-14T18:12:00.000Z

We had our college quiet day today. Have I mentioned that I'm an extrovert? A day's silence frightened me somewhat. However, I actually really enjoyed it, once I got into it. I didn't follow the theme of the day ("Listening from the Heart", ironically), but sort of did my own thing, as God laid on my heart. As a result, I decided I really have to start doing some sport again. I'm hoping to go swimming about twice a week. Very gently at first. I guess it's better than nothing, which is the state of affairs at the moment.

Oh and I am in the process of writing an essay - hence this update. Avoidance tactics. Back to St Paul and his teaching on the Holy Spirit. *sigh*

Optical Illusion

2005-11-09T19:24:00.000Z

If you stare at this picture for a little while (give it about a minute), you will see a giraffe...

I nicked this from Lee's website, it was just too good to keep to myself. So sorry Lee to steal your limelight, but hey, it's public domain :-)

Recent Movements

2005-11-04T15:06:00.000Z

Lately, I have surprised myself with the discovery that I am starting to like college. I love the people here, we have some real fantastic Christians and leaders in this college. If this is the future of the Church of England, then I have hope.

I am concerned though, that this might mean that I am becoming anglicanised. ;-)

I sincerely hope that I will, first and foremost, stay a follower of Jesus who wants to share his amazing love with others. Anything else isn't important. And, actually, the trappings that come with that aren't important either. So, in other words, if I have to wear silly dresses and swing smoking baubles around in order to communicate to the world that Jesus loves them and died for them, and if they, because of that, take notice then great. If I discover that swinging incense and wearing silly dresses is NOT helpful or in fact hinders the above, then I will have to reconsider doing so. Seriously reconsider doing so, in fact.

I think we, as the worldwide church, rather than the CofE, have to remember the 'Jesus rule'. How would Jesus handle this? What would Jesus do? How would Jesus act? What would Jesus say? Even though WWJD is such a cliche, I think if we took it serious, we would see some serious results, too.

Oh and David H., who is the bursar here at college, was very much disappointed that I haven't mentioned him on my blog so far. David is the man who is in charge of everything here and works really hard to make our lives very enjoyable whilst on campus. We love you David! :-)

Ye Olde Trip

2005-10-25T15:45:00.000+01:00

Yesterday I went to the oldest pub in England - Ye Olde Trip to Jerusalem. Curiously, it was just across the road from the oldest pub in Nottingham - go figure (check it out here: Ye Olde Trip)

This pub is half built into a rockface, which makes for interesting rooms inside - all hewn into the rock. Great. Ali and Steve have decided that it's their personal quest to make me like beer. Beer makes me want to throw up so we might have quite a long journey before I *like* beer. However, I don't mind going to pubs. Don't necessarily need to drink beer.

In other news, Peanut died the other day. He is resting in peace in the St John's bins. Bless his core. May he rot in peace.

College is on half term reading week (for me it's sleeping week) and it feels like a ghost town. Hardly anyone's around and the weather is miserable too. Roll on next week - I can't wait for *people* to come back! Do you think I'm an extrovert?

Update: we just lost the weekly pub quiz. 35 out of 60. Appalling. Truly appalling. Mainly because we gambled on the last question and lost 8 points because we got it wrong. I rest my case.

Inanimate Objects

2005-10-14T17:28:00.000+01:00

As we have seen, even inanimate objects like our beloved peanut can suddenly become infused with life, and assume a personality all of their own.

I got the following in a forward, and whilst it probably won't rival the response peanut got, it's nonetheless amusing.

You may not know that many non-living things have a gender (well we know after meeting peanut!)

For example:

1) Ziploc Bags -- They are Male, because they hold everything in,
but you can see right through them

2) Copiers -- They are Female, because once turned off, it takes a
while to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device
if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong
buttons are pushed.

3) Tire -- Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated.

4) Hot Air Balloon -- Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you
have to light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air
part.

5) Sponges -- Female, because they're soft, squeezable
and retain water ..

6) Web Page -- Female, because it's always getting hit on.

7) Subway -- Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people
up.

8) Hourglass -- Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the
bottom.

9) Hammer -- Male, because it hasn't changed much over the last
5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.

10) Remote Control -- Female...... Ha! You thought it'd be male. But
consider this -- it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it,
and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps
trying.

Peanut the Pear

2005-10-09T23:14:00.000+01:00

Here's the newest addition to our college community. We found him hanging helplessly on a tree in the college grounds. As budding vicars, we couldn't pass a pear in distress. He now lives with Helen in Northwood.

Wireless Life

2005-10-08T18:36:00.000+01:00

I'm typing this sitting on the loo...no not really. BUT I'm typing it with my laptop sat on my sofa, and me sitting in the chair opposite, typing on the wireless keyboard, using the wireless internet access. Just because I can.

I had a very productive week. Handed in my essay, which was very easy to do thanks to mindmapping (thank you Alyn!!) and sat through a week of lectures and morning prayer every morning. I better get used to this ;-)

Today, Ruthli came up from Crawley to help me paint the bathroom and hallway. Unexpectedly, we finished both within a couple of hours, so we decided to go to Ikea (where the world and his wife had decided to come shopping too) and spent money. Now I'm sitting here watching Ruthli put my chest of drawers together. And before you all gasp in indignation, she said she *likes* doing it - it's like a jigsaw puzzle, she said. Well I guess it is, especially when you're talking about Ikea flatpacks.

So now all that's not painted yet is the bedroom, but it's not too bad, so we'll leave that one for now.

Weddings and Start of Term

2005-10-03T21:32:00.000+01:00

Congratulations to Clair and Jeremy!!!! Clair is now Mrs Brown. And therefore grown up.

I went to their wedding on Saturday, which was a lovely occasion. Loads of people there, the service was fantastic, loads of worship songs. It all went off without a hitch and now they're off on honeymoon, somewhere on Dartmoor I understand.

I took the opportunity to catch up with friends at my home church. I've only been away for two weeks, but it feels like ages, so much has happened in between.

Today was start of term, we had the start of term communion service and Christina talked on 1 John 2:20 "But you have an anointing from the Holy One, and all of you know the truth." Basically, we don't need teaching anymore - we know it all already! Serious though - she said she wants us to invite the Holy Spirit to be our first and foremost teacher this year, and see the lecturers more like 'helpers'. Great talk! The worship was good, too. Even though we *did* use the Book of Common Prayer (I guess it's an Anglican college after all...).

So tomorrow lectures begin with four hours (!) of "Church and Ministry". I just read a chapter of a book called Models of Church. Totally incomprehensible. I had to use a dictionary to look up certain words which I had never come across before. And before you ask, that has *never, ever* happened to me before!!!!! Not even when I was studying Business at Aston.

Information overload

2005-09-26T16:14:00.000+01:00

Argh. Well after today, I am well and truly introducted (is that a word?). I know all about housekeeping, signing in for meals (that's a nightmare!) and course requirements. I had my first small group meeting and my course group meeting. We also had a communion service this morning with a great talk by Christina Baxter. All in a day's work.

Oh and I do NOT have to do Greek. It's not compulsory any more. But I decided I'm going to do it anyway. Because it's non-assessed, and sounds like fun ('saddo!' I hear you shout!).

So the first day is over. It still feels like a bit of a dream. Actually, it feels very much like a dream. Yesterday evening I went to Trent Vineyard to their evening service - the worship was fantastic, the sermon was decidedly too long. But I left there feeling I'm leaving all that behind, and it felt really sad. CofE and charismatic worship seemed mutually exclusive. However, this morning, the worship could rival Trent any day, and the sermon was *much* better! So there's hope yet, and God is faithful.

Broadband and Wireless

2005-09-23T21:02:00.000+01:00

Yay! I've got broadband here at college. And I don't have to pay for it!! It's sooo nice. And, if you all are going to pray really really hard for financial blessing and favour, I might even be wireless soon... :-D

Serious though - it's great. So much easier. And what's best is that I can listen to German radio over the internet!!! Without "buffering" interruptions. Wha-hey. Little things...

Home again

2005-09-21T17:54:00.000+01:00

After a manic round of packing, driving to Nottingham, unpacking and painting, I am now (sort of) settled into my new abode. And the best of it is - this is going to be mine (ALL MINE) for the next three years.

Carolyn came up and helped me paint the living room. Well, actually, I think I helped her paint. She knew what she was doing, I didn't. I do now. She's a good teacher! So now three walls of my lounge/kitchen are a sort of soft cream colour, and the fourth wall is walnut brown. Very nice. And once I got matching curtains (currently they're dark blue...), and decided where to put the furniture, it'll be lovely.

Carolyn has been great - I couldn't have done it without her. She kept me going and helped me over the first shock of realising: I'm really doing this! I'm really here! Help!!!

Anyways - tonight is an early night, I'm shattered after two days of painting, and three days of shopping excursions (I have already located Ikea!) and lugging boxes and climbing up and down ladders.

The Lean Mean Fat Reducing Grilling Machine

2005-09-16T13:46:00.000+01:00

Oh yes baby, you are looking at the proud owner of a Baby George. I'm told it's an essential for students (and I wanted one for a while...). So now I'll live ultra-healthily (yeah right).

In other news, I am nearly totally packed up. All my clothes are in black bin liners to my mum's horror, but it's easier to pack the car like that. Despite that, I think I won't be able to fit it all in in one go, so it's just as well that I'm going to come back in two weeks to go to my friend Clair's wedding.

Now all I need to do is actually *GO* :-)

Last day at work

2005-09-13T21:59:00.000+01:00

So today was my last day at work. It was spent not really doing much at all - just wandering around saying good-bye to people and trying not to cry. They are such a great bunch there, I'm really gonna miss them (in case you're reading this, Toshiba - I really *am* going to miss you guys!!!)

So - no more office for me. Possibly for the rest of my life. How weird is that. Office is all I know in terms of earning my living. I feel a little floaty, as if someone had whipped the ground from under my feet. But I'm sure once I settle into college it'll all calm down again - and I'll probably wish I was back at the office!!!!

5 more days til I move!!! Help cubed!!!!!!!!!

Last things

2005-09-11T17:57:00.000+01:00

Last things are always difficult. Last Communion service this Sunday. Last day at work on Tuesday. Last time homegroup on Tuesday evening. Last this last that.

But saying that, I also have a lot of firsts - I went up to Nottingham yesterday (Saturday) to take some boxes up and have a look at the flat. So - first look at the flat. First time of cleaning the kitchen (hmmm - is that worth recording?), first time of having tea at Liz's new house (let's hear it for Liz - she's my link student. She's fantastic!). First time of getting the number code on the doors wrong, and therefore first time of feeling like a lemon (well at St John's anyway - I felt like a lemon elsewhere before).

My flat is absolutely awesome. First of all it's MINE for three years. I might get bored with being in the same place for longer than 8 months, but I don't think so. Second it's ONLY mine - noone else to share with. My own little pad. I can paint it any way I like (any suggestions?), I can do anything I like in it (within reason) and I can shut the door from the inside if I so choose.

It's got a massive panorama window on one wall with a big window seat looking out on the grounds, weeping willows and fir trees etc, so I can see where I'll be spending most of my time sitting and reading...

Help! Only a week to go!!

Oh the places you'll go!

2005-09-06T21:12:00.000+01:00

Seems like a fitting poem for this time in my life...and maybe in yours too!

Oh, the Places You'll Go!

Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You're on your own.  And you know what you know.
And YOU  are the guy who'll decide where to go.

You'll look up and down streets.  Look 'em over with care.
About some you will say, "I don't choose to go there."
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,
you're too smart to go down any not-so-good street.

And you may not find any
you'll want to go down.
In that case, of course,
you'll head straight out of town.

It's opener there
in the wide open air.

Out there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as brainy
and footsy as you.

And when things start to happen,
don't worry.  Don't stew.
Just go right along.
You'll  start happening too.

OH!
THE PLACES YOU'LL GO!

You'll be on your way up!
You'll be seeing great sights!
You'll join the high fliers
who soar to high heights.

You won't lag behind, because you'll have the speed.
You'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you'll be the best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don' t
Because, sometimes, you won't.

I'm sorry to say so
but, sadly, it's true
and Hang-ups
can happen to you.

You can get all hung up
in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on.
You'll be left in a Lurch.

You'll come down from the Lurch
with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then,
that you'll be in a Slump.

And when you're in a Slump,
you're not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted.  But mostly they're darked.
A place you could sprain both you elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out?  Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And IF  you go in, should you turn left or right...
or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?
Simple it's not, I'm afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused
that you'll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.

The Waiting Place...
...for people just waiting.
Waiting for a  train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or a No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a sting of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.

NO!
That's not for you!

Somehow you'll escape
all that waiting and staying.
You'll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing.

With banner flip-flapping,
once more you'll ride high!
Ready for anything under the sky.
Ready because you're that kind of a guy!

Oh, the places you'll go! There is fun to be done!
There are points to be scored.  there are games to be won.
And the magical things you can do with that ball
will make you the winning-est winner of all.
Fame!  You'll be famous as famous can be,
with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.

Except when they don't.
Because, sometimes, they won't.

I'm afraid that some  times
you'll play lonely games too.
Games you can't win
'cause you'll play against you.

All  Alone!
Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
you'll be quite a lot.

And when you're alone, there's a very good chance
you'll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won't want to go on.

But on you will go
though the weather be foul
On you will go
though your enemies prowl
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.

On and on you will hike
and I know you'll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.

You'll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You'll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life's
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never  mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3 / 4 percent guaranteed.)

KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!

So...
be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,
you're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So...get on your way!

---Dr. Seuss

To ponder...

2005-09-03T16:05:00.000+01:00

Someone once said "In the centre of the universe, the face of God wears a smile". Do you think the universe is intrinsically a friendly place or not?

Answers on a postcard - or in the comments section, if that's easier...

Housesitter par excellence

2005-08-29T21:32:00.000+01:00

I am getting good at this - maybe this is my calling in life? After housesitting for two weeks for one lot of friends, I am now housesitting for another lot of friends for the next two weeks. It's very nice to have my own space, but a bit tiring to be lugging my clothes around from one place to another. Also, in between all this I am chucking stuff out and packing boxes. Only another three weeks - in fact three weeks today I will have moved into my little flat in Peache Way! Wha-hey here's to my own space, after one and a half long years.

It's amazing how much you realise how you need your own space. This might sound like a pathetic excuse, but I even find it easier to pray when I know no-one can be potentially walking in or watching. And the prospect of having my own little flat, after so long of 'making do' - even though it was a lovely 'making do' with very generous people, and I couldn't have done what I did this past 18 months without them (thank you Audrey and George!) - so the prospect of my own little flat makes me nearly delirious with joy!

Funny how the little things can get amazingly rewarding - how our expectations shrink...I remember living in a five bedroomed house by a golf course with two cars on the drive and a couple of sunny getaways a year, and not finding anything about that amazing. And here I am, looking forward to taking possession of a one bedroom flat, and Christmas spent with my parents. Love it love it love it. Life is so much more exciting and tasty (if you can say that in connection with life...) when lived in an "attitude of gratitude"

And WHY is the 'g' in "gnome" silent??

Rhubarb

2005-08-27T18:02:00.000+01:00

There isn't anything to say at the moment. So I'll say it - "anything". There.

I'm in No-Man's Land for these next three weeks. My life will consist of handovers (at work and church) and of sorting through paperwork (what to keep and what to throw) and other stuff (again, what to keep and what to throw). Other than that, I will make one to three trips down to Nottingham. Did you know that Nottingham is pronounced Nottingem, with emphasis on the 'g'? And why is the 'g' in 'gnome' silent???

It's sinking in

2005-08-20T21:12:00.000+01:00

....slooooowly.

So in four weeks' time I'll be moving into college. Click here to see what kind of college I'm going to and what kind of stuff I'll be doing for the next three years.

Now for packing, filling in (yet more) forms, winding up my job, saying good-bye etc.

I think at the moment I'm at the stage where I'm thinking "Oh dear what have I done?"

I'd like to stay in my nice safe job, with my nice safe church (and my nice safe God?) in a nice, known, comfortable environment...ok ok I think I get the message. It's not meant to be safe is it?

“Ooh,” said Susan, “I thought he was a man. Is he-quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion.”
“That you will, dearie, and make no mistake,” said Mrs. Beaver, “if there’s anyone who can appear before Aslan without their knees knocking, they’re either braver than most or else silly.”
“Then he isn’t safe?” said Lucy.
“Safe?” said Mr. Beaver, “don’t you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.”
(from: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe; C.S. Lewis)

'Nuff said.

The Waiting is Over...

2005-08-12T16:30:00.000+01:00

I just wanted to let all of you dear people know that the waiting is over - this morning Bishop Pete phoned me to tell me that the Church of England selection committee has decided to sponsor me for training for ordination in the Church of England. So as of the 25th of September, I will be studying for a Masters in Theology at St John's College Nottingham, then hopefully get ordained in July 2008.

Thanks for all your support, love and prayers

Day 1 with dog

2005-08-09T13:31:00.000+01:00

Well. This might prove to be an interesting two weeks. I moved into my friends' house yesterday to do the two week housesitting thing. The dog greeted me with enthusiasm. I managed to find everything I needed and life seemed good. Until I decided to go to bed. This is one biiiiig house. And it's scary. I left the dog in the kitchen (according to instructions given) and went upstairs to my room. The dog didn't like it. So she started scratching at the door. Loudly. And whining. I ignored her (hard hearted me!). Finally, she settled down, with the odd scratching every now and then, which woke me with a start again.

I also started flapping last night. I was lying in bed, and obviously should not have had the coffee, so I couldn't sleep. Then I started thinking - what if? What if the CofE doesn't want me? How am I going to survive til Friday? What am I going to do??? Once I settled down (finally) the dog scratched at the kitchen door again. And again. She finally settled at around midnight, or a little later. I fell asleep, then at 2.45, a wristwatch alarm went off somewhere in the vicinity of my room. I mean, WHO in their right mind sets their alarm to 2.45 am????

Then the dog woke up and decided it was day - at 6am. She is used to that because her crazy owners go for a run with her first thing in the morning. I was certainly NOT going for a run, but I felt pity for her and got up (!!!), showered, had breakfast and took her for a walk round Tilgate Park. Very nice, too even at that ungodly hour (I'm sure God wasn't up yet either - or busy in Australia...).

So by the time I got to work at a quarter to nine, I felt like I had already done about half a day's work.

So far, the hamster proved to be the least of the hassles.

Excercise and dogs

2005-08-06T14:45:00.000+01:00

I decided today that I ought to do some excercise. I'm not sure how long this marvellous decision will last (so far I have only decided, I haven't acutally DONE any excercise). But I have the best of starts - I will be housesitting for friends over the next couple of weeks, which includes dog-sitting. Meaning I will have to go out with the dog every day.

Did I mention that I want a dog? Some mixed one, not a pedigree. But I might have to wait a few years yet - having a dog at college might not work well. But who knows...

(Have you heard of the insomniac dyslexic agnostic, who lay awake at night wondering whether there was a dog?)

Three days later...

2005-08-04T10:49:00.000+01:00

Selection conference is over. And all in all, it wasn't really the ordeal I thought it would be. The selectors tried very hard to make it a relaxed occasion for everyone, which of course is wishful thinking. But they were really nice, the other people were really nice, and I enjoyed myself. Which is more than I hoped for.

Two out of three interviews went surprisingly well - no hitches at all from my point of view. The third one left me feeling like a plucked chicken. Feathers everywhere and quite sore. Ironically enough, that was the pastoral interview, which is looking at character, relationships and leadership and collaboration. I don't think I did myself any favours in that one and couldn't really get myself across at all. But then, two out of three ain't bad. Also, talking to the others, they seemed to have had the same kind of problems in that interview, so maybe that's just the way that particular interviewer works.

The group excercise was exhausting - two hours, discussing different topics, with a different facilitator every time. Not sure if I made any friends in that one either, because once or twice I couldn't help but throw controversial statements into it. Oh well if nothing else it livened things up ;-)

The written excercise was to write a letter to a long standing friend, Jane, who just lost her husband, Ted. After writing the letter, I suddenly thought I had been calling the husband Tom instead of Ted (I hadn't) - that would have been a bit of a pastoral faux-pas...

Oh yes I forgot to tell you that the place we stayed in was an old convent, absolutely fantastic to look at, massive, high-ceilinged chapel, and lovely gardens. However, the pipes in that house were possessed. The first night, I heard a gurgling in the pipes of the sink in my bedroom, so I thought I'd be clever and put the plug in to muffle the sounds a bit. Feeling very satisfied with myself, I went back to bed. A little later, I could hear gurgling wich got louder and louder, eventually crescendoing in a loud POP! and the plug flew out of the plughole. At that point I decided the pipes were demonised and I needed to lay hands on. I half expected Moaning Myrtle to come floating out and complain...

If you want to have a look at the website of the pastoral centre where the conference was held, click here

Get your Swords out...

2005-07-31T22:22:00.000+01:00

Ok guys - now's the time. Can I call on your prayers for these next three days, selection conference. Decision time.

Please pray that God's will be done, that He will get the glory. And pray that the selectors will look to Him and not to their own agendas.

Survivor

2005-07-30T21:39:00.000+01:00

You'll be glad to hear that I survived New Wine. If I didnt' have a reputation to uphold, I'd say I enjoyed it. Well I enjoyed the conference, I can't say that I enjoyed the camping by any stretch of the imagination. Spiders, minging toilets, muddy showers, rainy and blustery weather...I mean WHY? Why do people camp????

Anyway I survived and it was worth it for (some of) the speakers. Some were just plain weird, but I'm sure that someone got blessed by it...just not me.

On the other hand, I went to some seminars and talks which were fantastic. Absolutely brilliant. Mike Hill, Bishop of Bristol, did a fantastic series on leadership, inspiring and passionate. Set me up well for selection conference on Monday.

Camping

2005-07-21T22:26:00.000+01:00

I can't believe it - I'm going camping. I don't even LIKE camping. In fact, I hate camping. Who in their right mind would put a few flapping bits of canvas up in a field, pump up a rubber compartment and wriggle into a cocoon made of polyester and cotton? Then, when you need "the facilities", you wander across a field, find the portaloos, or the showers in which hundreds of people before you showered, maybe even queue for the priviledge of a wash.

I am (or rather was - I got thrown out) a fully fledged member of Cacac (Christians against camping and caravaning). I HATE camping.

John Donne

2005-07-20T14:06:00.000+01:00

"Batter My Heart, Three-Person'd God"

Batter my heart, three-person'd God, for you
As yet but knock, breathe, shine, and seek to mend;
That I may rise and stand, o'erthrow me, and bend
Your force to break, blow, burn, and make me new.
I, like an usurp'd town to another due,
Labor to admit you, but oh, to no end;
Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend,
But is captiv'd, and proves weak or untrue.
Yet dearly I love you, and would be lov'd fain,
But am betroth'd unto your enemy;
Divorce me, untie or break that knot again,
Take me to you, imprison me, for I,
Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,
Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.