Kat in Germany
Well here I am in Germany. Until yesterday it was an intolerable 34 degrees centigrade (whatever that is in Fahrenheit for you Americans - no idea). Today it has cooled down a bit and overcast. It's probably still around 23-25 degrees so quite nice really. Just hope the sun is going to come out again soon.
And Nicola, sorry to say (you should know better - it's Wimbledon, of course the weather won't be good!!) but I understand there have been massive thunderstorms with loads of rain and the weather is now so-so in the UK.
I am busy catching up with old friends (how come that babies grow so quickly?? Hannah is walking now and repeating those words she shouldn't but refusing to say "encyclopedia britannica") and relatives, and generally relaxing.
Oh and I am reading "Waking the Dead" (thanks Megan for the recommendation) and it's fantastic - can thoroughly recommend it!!
Hot Hot Hot Baby!
Yes ladies and gentlemen, I know it's hard to believe, but it is 30 (that's three-oh) degrees here in the British Isles. Not that it stops anyone from moaning ("Gosh it's hot. Isn't it horrible? Much too hot for my liking").
It's lovely. I don't have to wear any shoes (I don't like shoes) and I can wear strappy tops. Wa-hey! Oh and I can have barbeques. We had a barbeque yesterday, I was invited (or rather I think I stayed too long and then ended up staying for the BBQ by default) at the fabulous Steve and Judith Rose's house for a barbeque. It was an Uber - BBQ. Lamb, rib, sausage, mushrooms, marrows, olives, bread, garlic butter, corn on the cob, wine, beer, etc. Oh and strawberries and cream and chocolate and caramel thingies for afters, with cheese after that.
It was disgraceful.
And then this afternoon, after church I had - you guessed it! - another BBQ. This time with Nikki and Hywel. It was slightly healthier (they belong to my healthy friends...) with chicken kebabs, tuna steaks, sausages, marshmallows, carrot cake (not all on the barby). Very nice too. Very civilised. White wine spritzer on a hot Sunday afternoon is sooooo British baby.
So anyways - a few more days in this country and then I'm going HOME (to Germany) for a week!! It's my mum's birthday on Thursday (everyone say "Happy Birthday Kat's mum!!") and I'm due some R&R.
Found Him!
Did you know that God never moves? It's us who wander off every now and then. The problem (for us) then is that we have to find our way back to Him. It's a bit like retracing our steps. Where did we lose Him? At what point did we find we were walking along the path alone (or perceived to walk alone)?
Well I sort of wandered off a bit recently. And wondered why God felt so distant. Sure, He would still talk to me (sometimes I wish He wouldn't...only kidding!!), but He didn't feel near. It felt more like someone giving instructions from a way off than a lover whispering into my ear. And I couldn't understand it. I was doing fine, wasn't I? I wasn't (strictly speaking) sinning in any area of life. Have you noticed that it is very easy to justify wrongs? Even to the point where they seem right? It's frightening. I confess that I have never been in that place before, but having been there I don't want to go there again. It's a frightening place, with boundaries that stretch like rubber and accommodate you even though you have a niggling feeling that they shouldn't. But then they do, and so it must be ok, mustn't it?
Anyways, I had a meeting with the vic yesterday, to do worship planning (I was meant to be leading the service on Sunday). Well we talked. And he basically told me (I quote) that I crawled off the altar and I need a kick up the backside and get back on it double-quick. So we prayed, I confessed, repented, the whole lot. Tears. etc.
And anyone who hasn't been there won't understand this. But forgiveness is so sweet. I feel like I've come home after a long time in uncomfortable places. Or like sinking into a hot bath after a mucky day out. Or like finding peace after a long time of being unsettled.
I am not leading on Sunday. Not because I wasn't right with God - because I am again, now. But because I needed to take a step back, have a time without pressure and stress and focus on God and me. We agreed on this together and I am on the rota for July. My pride will get dented a bit tomorrow morning, when people ask why I wasn't leading (it's on a rota on the pinboard) but hey - I don't care.
So guys and girls, can I encourage you - if there is ANY area of compromise in your life, even a niggling feeling, get right with God. Get back on the path. Because believe me, if you find you started slipping, you will probably slip further. And it's not like God will hold it against you once you repented, but YOU might hold it against you and therefore damage your relationship with Him. And your relationship with your Daddy is the most precious thing in your life.
