Kat Across The Pond

Found Him!

Did you know that God never moves? It's us who wander off every now and then. The problem (for us) then is that we have to find our way back to Him. It's a bit like retracing our steps. Where did we lose Him? At what point did we find we were walking along the path alone (or perceived to walk alone)?

Well I sort of wandered off a bit recently. And wondered why God felt so distant. Sure, He would still talk to me (sometimes I wish He wouldn't...only kidding!!), but He didn't feel near. It felt more like someone giving instructions from a way off than a lover whispering into my ear. And I couldn't understand it. I was doing fine, wasn't I? I wasn't (strictly speaking) sinning in any area of life. Have you noticed that it is very easy to justify wrongs? Even to the point where they seem right? It's frightening. I confess that I have never been in that place before, but having been there I don't want to go there again. It's a frightening place, with boundaries that stretch like rubber and accommodate you even though you have a niggling feeling that they shouldn't. But then they do, and so it must be ok, mustn't it?

Anyways, I had a meeting with the vic yesterday, to do worship planning (I was meant to be leading the service on Sunday). Well we talked. And he basically told me (I quote) that I crawled off the altar and I need a kick up the backside and get back on it double-quick. So we prayed, I confessed, repented, the whole lot. Tears. etc.

And anyone who hasn't been there won't understand this. But forgiveness is so sweet. I feel like I've come home after a long time in uncomfortable places. Or like sinking into a hot bath after a mucky day out. Or like finding peace after a long time of being unsettled.

I am not leading on Sunday. Not because I wasn't right with God - because I am again, now. But because I needed to take a step back, have a time without pressure and stress and focus on God and me. We agreed on this together and I am on the rota for July. My pride will get dented a bit tomorrow morning, when people ask why I wasn't leading (it's on a rota on the pinboard) but hey - I don't care.

So guys and girls, can I encourage you - if there is ANY area of compromise in your life, even a niggling feeling, get right with God. Get back on the path. Because believe me, if you find you started slipping, you will probably slip further. And it's not like God will hold it against you once you repented, but YOU might hold it against you and therefore damage your relationship with Him. And your relationship with your Daddy is the most precious thing in your life.

posted by Kat @ 4:25 pm